130
PARTISAN REVIEW
She says, "I'm not a very good cook."
She expects him to assure her that she is, but instead he says, "You
should be. Anybody can be a good cook."
Old Mother sits dejected on a stool in the kitchen.
"I just want to teach you something about the rice pot," says the
Grouch, by way of introduction, as he stands at the sink with his back
to her.
But she does not like this. She does not wish to be his student.
One night Old Mother cooks him a dish of polenta. He remarks
that it has spread on the plate like a cow patty. He tastes it and says that
it tastes better than it looks. On another night she makes him a brown
rice casserole. The Grouch says this does not look very good either. He
covers it in salt and pepper, then eats some of it and says it also tastes
better than it looks. Not much better, though.
"Since I met you," says the Grouch, "I have eaten more beans than I
ever ate in my life. Potatoes and beans. Every night there is nothing but
beans, potatoes, and rice."
Old Mother knows this is not strictly true.
"What did you eat before you knew me?" she asks.
"Nothing," says the Grouch. "I ate nothing."
Old Mother likes all chicken parts, including the liver and heart, and
the Grouch likes the breasts only. Old Mother likes the skin on and the
Grouch likes it off. Old Mother prefers vegetables and bland food. The
Grouch prefers meat and strong spices. Old Mother prefers to eat her
food slowly and brings it hot to the table. The Grouch prefers to eat
quickly and burns his mouth.
"You don't cook the foods I like," the Grouch tells her sometimes.
"You ought to like the foods I cook," she answers.
"Spoil me. Give me what I want, not what you think I should
have," he tells her.
That's an idea, thinks Old Mother.
Old Mother wants direct answers from the Grouch. But when she
asks, "Are you hungry?" he answers, "It's seven o'clock." And when she
asks, "Are you tired?" he answers , "It's ten o'clock." And when she in–
sists, and asks again, "But are you tired?" he says, "I've had a long day."
Old Mother likes two blankets at night, on a cold night, and the
