JOYCE CAROL OATES
403
Barry Carson's handsome heavy face darkened with pleasure when he
heard such praise, exaggerated as it was. Though afterward, regarding
himself in a mirror, he felt shame: he was forty-two years old, he had a
very good job in a highly competitive field, he had a very good marriage
with a woman he both loved and respected, he believed he was leading, on
the whole, a very good life, yet none of this meant as much to him as Paul
Riegel carelessly complimenting him on his squash game.
How has my life come to this?
Poppy developed cataracts on both eyes. And then tumorous growths
in her neck. The Riegels took her to the vet and had her put to sleep and
Ceci had what was reported to the Carsons as a breakdown of a kind : wept
and wept and wept. Paul too was shaken by the ordeal but managed to joke
over the phone about the dog's ashes. When Charlotte told Barry of the
dog's death she saw Barry's eyes narrow as he resisted saying Thank God!
and said instead, gravely, as ifit would be a problem of his own, "Poor Ceci
will
be
inconsolable."
For weeks it wasn't clear to the Carsons that they would be invited to
visit the Riegels on Nantucket then, shortly before the Riegels left, Ceci said
as if casually, " - We did set a date didn't we? For you two to come visit?"
On their way up - it was a seven-hour drive to the ferry at Woods
Hole - Charlotte said to Barry, "Promise you won't drink so much this
year." Offended, Barry said, "I won't monitor your behavior, honey, if you
won't monitor mine."
From the first, the Nantucket visit went awkwardly. Paul wasn't home
and his whereabouts weren't explained though Ceci chattered brightly and
effusively carrying her drink with her as she escorted the Carsons to their
room and watched them unpack. Her shoulder-length hair was graying and
disheveled; her face was heavily made up, especially about the eyes. Sev–
eral times she said, "Paul will be so happy
to
see you," as if Paul had not
known they were invited; or, knowing, like Ceci herself, had perhaps
forgotten. An east wind fanned drizzle and soft gray mist against the win–
dows.
Paul returned looking fit and tanned and startled about the eyes: in his
walnut-brown face the whites glared. Toward dusk the sky lightened and the
couples sat on the beach with their drinks. Ceci continued to chatter while
Paul smiled vague and distracted looking out at the surf. The air was chilly
and damp but wonderfully fresh. The Carsons drew deep breaths and spoke
admiringly of the view. And the house. And the location. They were won–
dering had the Riegels been quarreling? was something wrong? had they
themselves come on the wrong day, or at the wrong time? Paul had been
effusive too in his greetings but had not seemed to see them and had scarcely
