248
PARTISAN REVIEW
So what do they do? Nothing, we answer self-confidently;
therefore, they are lazy.
Take it slowly. For what are the unlazy up to? The unlazy are
hardworking. The hardworking work. Those who work create the
order in which they live. By creating it, they praise it (provided they
do not destroy it in the process- but this is unlikely). The lazy are
not like that; they do not praise the order.
The lazy keep quiet. Just the way they sit down unsure of
themselves and snort. And won't get up, just stare.
It
is winter but
spring will come soon. Only ill-will would describe their stare as
glassy. "Bottomless depths," perhaps this phrase could best express
their profound philosophical loafing. Nonsense, the lazy keep quiet.
They are neither content nor malcontent. Although/indeed, they
shamelessly indulge their own laziness.
Their calm leaves them only when they are near the kitchen.
The lazy man is an
hors d'oeuvres man:
stuffed meat pies, light pasta,
the rare delicacies of the sea, oils, sauces, gravies-stop. Let's not
break our hearts.
Aioli! Aioli!
The lazy are nibblers. Their sneaking about drives even the
most magnanimous hostess up the wall.
It
is they who break off the
golden crust of the bread loaf only to bar-ba-rously sop up the rest of
the onion gravy. Too lazy to eat, they nibble away. They
nibble in,
on, through, out, back and forth, up and down, after, instead of.
Their favorite delicacy is the black burnt peel of baked potatoes. In–
deed, it is they who when arriving at a friend's apartment late in the
morning glance at their watch and instead of saying hello remark:
"It
is oyster time";
who, when greeted by their friend conjuring up the
oysters from the slightly grimy pantry of this slightly grimy Eastern
European city, do not bat an eyelash; who, needless to add, ask then
uneasy and subtle questions solely about the
appropn'ate
bottle of
champagne. Shortly thereafter, they simply enjoy themselves.
While the lazy are content with little, they are by no means
completely unpresuming. In fact, the lazy live for pleasure.
And they have a sweet tooth. Let's not forget that.
Lazy people are a little bit old-fashioned. They kiss women's
hands. They like tweed jackets. They are in love with their lovers.
Having been ill, they spend an extra day in bed, even though they
have no fever. They love food out of vogue such as heavenly rich
pates, and believe everything about the effects of truffies on virility.
In vain they are warned by their sniggering wives and girlfriends.
