12
PARTISAN REVIEW
that they retreated and permitted me to write letters to my mother
and to Avital in Israel. For a year they wouldn't let me send a single
letter. It looked like a miracle-when I thought I was dying. They
retreated because of strong pressure, a public campaign in my sup–
port. Three years later, already in the time of Gorbachev, in the
same prison , in the same cell, after the same hunger strike , virtually
with the same demands, my Russian dissident friend died . He died
because there was less pressure, and in his case, the sensitivity of the
Soviet Union was less. Soon after, they arranged a meeting with my
mother. The reason quickly became clear. My mother told me that
the Madrid conference was coming to an end, and the American
government demanded my release. The Soviet government said that
if Sharansky would sign a statement that because of his health he
asks the government to be humane and to release him, without even
mentioning that he admits committing a crime, he will be released .
My mother said that the American officials believed that it was a
very big concession and that I should accept it. Of course Avital
didn't urge me to sign, because she understood that I could not do it,
and I didn't do it.
Suddenly, there came the interesting moment of my release,
when they took me from the punishment cell and brought me to the
hospital and started feeding me with two kilos , five kilos , ten kilos
of food - it was twenty-five percent of my weight . Now rve added
another twenty pounds. My wife says that one of the reasons she
doesn't want me to go to America is that I return each time with
another five pounds. They were giving me different kinds of injec–
tions, and I suddenly felt much better. My heart started to work bet–
ter, I could do my morning exercises, etcetera. Then four K.G.B.
men took me to a huge airplane , containing about a hundred seats ,
with me and them on board. In the good old days they shared a cab
with me and I wanted them to pay half; this time they shared a plane
with me, and they paid it all.
Then you find out that
there
you had to say no to the K.G.B .
men in order to be free, and
here,
now that you are released, all your
friends who were fighting for you feel that your life is their life, and
they want a piece of it. You understand that you have to say no to
them, and it is much more difficult to say no to your dear friend who
has been fighting for you than to the K .G.B ., I can assure you . And
then you notice, especially coming to America, that you are lost in
all these fantastic choices. Bloomingdale's - thank God I haven't been
