DORIS LESSING
565
tion, and was always travelling. Sebastian was a businessman, and
he travelled a lot too .
They ate cheese and drank more wine. Then Sebastian began
to talk , choosing his words, while his manner said he felt he had to
say all this , but would rather there was no necessity . "Did you know
Henry and Angela have known each other all their lives? They grew
up together."
"Yes, Henry told me."
"Brother and sister. That's what they are like. It took me some
time to see it , I admit."
Now he looked at her , to judge if there was any need to spell it
out.
She said drily, "I'm not jealous about sex ." And added
childishly , "I've no reason to be." Then she blushed, because of her
boastfulness , again momentarily becoming a
girl
again .
Now he laughed at her. He was rather tipsy, and flushed , just
like Henry , and relaxed and easy. As at ease as ifhe were in his own
kitchen . "Well, good for you," he said. "I , on the other hand , am
capable of being terribly jealous . But not about Henry . They haven't
slept together for years. They can't. It doesn't work. Sex was never
the important thing, for them."
"So Henry tells me."
"Well , then?" He seemed antagonistic to her now, his ruddy
face directed full at her, without any of his usual watchfulness and
restraint. The wine had stripped that off him! Or perhaps his dislike
of her had . . . . He was going on, "Jealousy!
If
you want my advice ,
then don't. Don't even start. Don't let it enter things at all. I know.
I've done it. And regret it."
"With Olga?"
"Yes, and not only with Olga. With others . It is my misfortune
to be jealous . And now I spend a lot of effort in not being. You can't
win with jealousy, ever."
With this warning blasted straight at her, he stood up .
"I don't think I am jealous."
"Aren't you? That's what it looks like to me ."
But before she could say any more, he said , moving to the
door, "I'm a bit tight. And I'm going to sleep . I don't work half as
hard as Henry does , but I like to get a bit of a siesta when I'm here ."
At the door he stopped . "Of course, you don't know where you are
sleeping."
"Presumably with Henry."
