DORIS LESSING
561
she saw it) real thing he had said. He was speaking out of his own
nature, and not what he believed he had to say out of self-defense.
"Perhaps I am not so difficult to please as you? I've had a perfectly
splendid time with Angela these four years. And I hope to have many
more."
"I didn't say I hadn't had a perfectly splendid time with Henry,"
she said sweetly. And they laughed. Together. They even liked each
other, as much as was possible with those two invisible presences at
the meal, Angela and Henry. "But I don't see the point of marrying
unless it's all there, you know,
everything."
"Ah well, then I think you're being unreasonable. Asking for
trouble ."
"Why bother to get married?"
"Perhaps you shouldn't? No, I mean that-kindly, believe me .
It's no good asking too much.
It
was the mistake I made with Olga."
"Did you ever regret divorcing her? Olga?"
Now, a hesitation. He did not like this. "Yes ," he said, with dif-
ficulty . "Yes , I sometimes do. But we are the best of good friends."
"Like Henry and Angela."
"I hope so ."
"And like you and Henry."
"I like Henry . My life is much better for Henry. He's one of the
people I'd go to if I were in real trouble ."
"Rare ."
"I think so , yes."
"Immature," she sighed , histrionically . "That's me . I haven't
grown up. " And then, in one of the sudden, almost savage turns he
had been dreading , "Except that that is bullshit. Rubbish . Oh I
know what you think of me. I've had it for years from Marcus, and
now with Henry ."
"Marcus the louse?" He attempted humor. It was rejected .
"Yes, a louse . In a word."
"Ah ."
"He behaved . .. he certainly is immature . Why should I
paper it allover , pretend it never happened?
If
that is maturity ,
then . .. . "
"I never once used the word!"
"No, but put your hand on your heart and swear you didn't
think it."
He had to laugh. She laughed. But hers was not the kind of
