388
PARTISAN REVIEW
know what time it was, he could feel himself getting hard though he
was almost too tired to keep his eyes open, stumbling to the bed and
hauling Marian with him, she gave him a real slap on the side of the
face so that his ear stung, he fell laughing onto the bed not giving a
damn if the bedsprings broke, "C'mon shut up an' get to bed," he
said, it really turned him on that Marian was always pushing him,
seeing how far she could go with him, he wouldn't want some wife
like his brother had or his brother-in-law or half the guys he knew,
scared to death they were going to get it in the face, too scared even
to cry, Marian
was
scared but she kept at him, her eyes showing
white the way they did, "Look Harvey, was there trouble? - I want
to know,"
~he
asked, and he said, "No there was not ."
She said something he didn't catch, then she was drawing off
her~bath-robe,
he had to watch her through his fingers because of the
light that hurt his eyes, he liked that nightgown of hers that was a
queer translucent aqua color, wide lacy straps like something a little
girl might wear, lace bodice you could see through in the right light,
he knew suddenly that the baby was going to be a girl and he knew
that was right, that balanced things out, there would be Paulie and
there would be Paulie's baby sister, that was the way it would work
out, he'd bet a thousand dollars, his luck was going to hold.
The nightgown clung with static electricity to Marian's belly
and buttocks, and seeing his face, his eyes, she turned slightly away,
intimidated, maybe, or embarrassed. She could see things in his face,
Harvey knew, he could never see himself.
In the dark he went for her, wordless. Marian resisted, then
gave in, murmuring something he couldn't make out, she had to lift
her hips, she had to help him get inside her, they were both breathing
hard, then Harvey was pumping himself into her, his jaws clenched,
his eyes shut tight, he hadn't known he was so hot, so urgent, his
heartbeat so fast. Marian held his sides tight with her knees as she
sometimes did, holding him back, trying to hold him back, so in his
plunge he wouldn't squeeze her belly and breasts, wouldn't hurt her.
She was whispering something, she closed her fingers in his hair but
he paid no attention, he was panting, grunting, then suddenly it was
over- that flame coursing through his groin and belly that always
astonished him, it was so strong, so powerful, it was familiar but it
always astonished him, knocked the breath out of him as if he'd been
kicked. Then he was lying by himself in the damp sheets and Marian
was in the bathroom, a narrow sliver of light, water running in the
