78
PARTISAN REVIEW
does
not
have it easy ! As "filler-upper" on one of the largest news–
papers? He must regularly provide
a) the column "FIFTY YEARS AGO" (the "Panther" pounces on
Agadir. / "TWENTY YEARS AGO" on Stalingrad . / "TEN
YEARS AGO" ? : Ah-ah-ah already up that creek).
b) the "Letterbox"; 90
%
bogus, 10
%
the genuine-idiotic
inquiries from "readers," (always the same "strata" by
the way: cantankerous retirees, regulars at some pub or
other, high -school seniors already despairing of ever see–
ing themselves in print any other way) : "Why is TANTA–
LUM called tantalum ?" / : "Are salted herring hung in
cherry trees effective against thievish magpies ?" / : "Where
does the brandname "MONDAMIN" come from
?"
(And the
stoic-inane answer: "E. Kr. from D . - From an Indian
word; 'Grain of the Great Spirit,' that is, maize. Your
friend has won his bet.") .
c) Or, something that occurs on the average of a half-dozen
times a day, the editor-in-chief calls up : "Quick, a filler
with 6 lines: make it snappy!" (Whence edifying Tartar
canards,
a
la "Child bit by Camel"; "HOLOFERNES,
Inventor of the Mosquito Net," cf. Jdt 13:9; "Willi
Brandt nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize
?").
As a result of which Ernst was condemned to devoting himself
to the most motley kinds of reading; forced on principle to read
pencil-in-hand, to affix every bit of foolishness to an index card, and
then to slip it into the appropriate stockpile folder. (They carried
curious labels : "LEARNED WIND; a) schmaltzy, b) ancient, c) slightly
risque - CAVE !" / "ADJECTIVES CONTRA GENTILES" - it was afterall
an "independent" paper, ergo Christian Democrat; (and
what
a
Social-Democrat He once had been, around 1930 when we were in
school together ! Ah well; back then there still was a Social–
Democratic Party.) / And as noted , "5-LINERS; 6-LINERS; 7-LINERS"
- I was once allowed to visit his "Cave of Winds" :
Never again
!). He
had trained all his closer acquaintances likewise to collect pertinent
items , and to share them with him, for despite his labors he was
forever short of material; I could therefore predict his next question. :
"You got anything ?" (I was already pulling out the sheet of paper
with my mini-finds.)
: "'MASAK,' Reversal of Circumcision." - "Can that be done ?"
the lecher asked in initial delight; but then at once started to rock his
