WALTER ABISH
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horse rearing up on its hind legs, the four metal ta bles on its granite
base bea ring the names o f those kill ed in action. There a re a t least six
Hargena u 's, all offi cers, who di ed in Wo rld Wa r I, and another ha lf a
dozen (m y fa ther's name no t included ) whose names are carved into the
large sla b o f ma rble now standing, a fter a hea ted public deba te, behind
the Scho ttendo rferkirche, a somewha t out-of-th e-way part o f the city,
considered a t the time by many as a mo re suitabl e spot for a World Wa r
II monument. After turning right a t the public libra ry it is only a fi ve–
minute brisk wa lk to the University where o ld Klude is still teaching
philosophy. Or, should one say, is o nce again teaching philosophy
after an enforced period of idleness, the res ult of too many reckless
speeches in the thirties and ea rly fo rties, speeches tha t dea lt with the
citizen 's respon sibilities to the New Order. Poor Klude. Once he
stopped dea ling with abstract theories and was able to make himself
understood to one overcrowded gymnas ium of students after another,
the ideas he expressed were reinforced by sta tements such as: We have
compl etely broken with a landl ess and powerl ess thinking. But by now
Klude's former pla titudino us speech es have been fo rgo tten . His stu–
dents swear by him, and hi s classes a re a lways crowded . Sometimes as
many as 400 sit in a la rge drafly auditorium, listening a ttentively to
Klude as he lectures on the meaning of a thing. What is a thing? he asks
rhetorica lly. Klude is no t referring to a pa rti cular thing . He is no t, fo r
instance, referring to a modern apartment building, or a metal frame
window, or an Eng lish lesson, but the
thing liness
tha t is intrinsic to a ll
things, rega rdl ess of their merit, their usefulness, and the degree of
their perfection. I mention the la tter only because the mind is so crea ted
that it habitua ll y se ts up sta nda rds of perfection for everything: fo r
marriage and fo r driving, for love affairs and for garden furniture, fo r
ta ble tennis and for gas ovens, fo r faces and even for something as petty
as the wea ther, and then, having established these standa rds, it sets up
standa rds o f compa rison which serve, if no thing else, to confirm in o ur
minds tha t a grea t many things are less tha n perfect.
6.
My brain relies on words to describe my promising future. A future
fill ed with expecta tion . A future built on the words I manage to put on
paper. The wo rds in themselves would not necessarily bewilder the
doorman who da il y gree ts me with: Looks like ano ther fin e day.
Repea t.
For all I know the doorman may have been one of the squad wh o
shot my father. It is hi ghl y unlikely. And if he had, he was under
