228
PARTISAN REVIEW
to
call you. But first I was late with the inventory, then I had to
hang the new exhibit, send out invitations and all that. Some–
times I think I am crazy having these champagne openings. "
My sister has an art gallery in Colorado.
"I am glad you called, " she continued. "I had an awful
dream the other night.
It
was unusually vivid. There was an
attic. Some men were working il1 the attic.
It
was very cold. I
brought them bottles of hot water, so they could warm their
hands. The scene changed and there was a party. Brother was
there carrying a sack. There seemed to be a human leg inside the
sack. Then the sack opened.
It
was full of fish eyes. Some of them
spilled out on the ground. "
I asked her if she had talked to Mother. She said: "No."
I told her I better get off the phone and get supper ready. I
hung up and went into the kitchen. I like to cook and find it
relaxing. I chopped scallions, peeled broccoli, washed and cut
some Chinese cabbage, soaked black fungus and dried Chinese
mushrooms in hot water, and sliced some beef paper-thin. I
boiled water for Japanese noodles, put peanut oil and a clove of
garlic in the wok, stirred a couple of drops of sesame oil into the
noodles when they were cooked. Kikkoman sauce. Saki. I was
involved but not involved enough. I thought about my brother. I
was scared of the knife I used. What had my childhood friend
written in her Christmas letter? That Brother was going to take
revenge on his parents?
It
was February, and I had still not thrown away the
Christmas mail. I went through it, found the letter, and reread it.
A post script said, "Your brother loves and hates his parents. I've
heard him say he will revenge his father."
I burned the peanut oil, threw it out and started all over.
What was happening?
After supper I showed my husband the printouts. He
shrugged his shoulders and suggested we go to a movie. I told
him about the phone calls to Mother and Sister.
"You guys and your dreams," he said, shaking his head.
"Perhaps someone is fooling with the terminal. Why don ' t you
change your code name."
The next morning, when the kids had left for school, I took
