JOY WILLIAMS
253
"You're so pretty," her mother says .
But she is so melancholy, so careless with herself. She is bruised
everywhere. Her mother parts her hair carefully . She brings out a dish
of soapy water and brushes and trims Jenny's nails. She is put in
order. She is a tidy little girl in a clean dress going out to supper on a
summer night.
"Come
onJenny," her mother urges her. "We want to
be
back
home while it's still light. " Jenny moves slowly to the door that her
father is holding open for them.
"I have an idea," her mother says, "I'll
be
a parade and you
be
the little girl following the parade. ' ,
Jenny is so far away. She smiles to keep her mother from prat–
tling so . She is what she will
be.
She has no energy, no talent, not
even for love . She lies face down, her face buried in a filthy sheet.
The man lies beside her. She can feel his heart beating on her arm.
Pounding like something left out of life . A great machine , a desolate
engine, taking over for her, moving her. The machine moves her out
the door, into the streets of the town .
There is a dance floor in the restaurant . Sometimes Jenny dances
with her father . She dances by standing on top of his shoes while he
moves around the floor. The restaurant is quite expensive . The menu
is written in chalk on a blackboard which is then rolled from table to
table . They go to this restaurant mostly because Jenny likes the black–
board. She can pretend that this is school.
There is a candle on each table, and Jenny blows it out at the
beginning of each meal. This plunges their table into deep twilight.
Sometimes the waitress relights the candle, and Jenny blows it out
again . She can pretend that this is her birthday orer and over again .
Her parents allow her to do this. They allow her to do anything that
does not bring distress to others . This usually works out well.
Halfway through their dinner, they become aware of a quarrel at
the next table. A man is shouting at the woman who sits beside him.
He does not appear angry, but he is saying outrageous things. The
woman sits very straight in her chair and cuts into her food. Once , she
puts her hand gently on the side of his head. He does not shrug it off
nor does it appear that he allows the caress . The woman 's hand falls
back in her lap as though it had been severed by its contact with him.
" Please don ' t, " the woman says . " We're spoiling the others'
