Christina Stead
UNCLE MORGAN AT THE NATS
"You
may notice the noise I am making," said Uncle
Morgan, champing with his jaws.
"You
know what I have told you:
masticate, denticate, chump, chew, and swallow. Now all together,
masticate, denticate, chump, chew, AND swallow."
The five children chumped, chewed, and swallowed in rhythm
with pleasure . There was a loud noise like a hippopotamus eating
sugarcane.
"That loud noise," said Uncle, "is a healthy noise and if you were
in some countries, they would take it as a compliment, that you were
pleased with the food; and you would be obliged to smack your lips,
smack your bellies, and belch; and in fact," he said, becoming
excited, "explode with greed and satisfaction in all directions, ears,
eyes, nose, mouth, belly, and lower down. We will now smack our lips,
roll our eyes, shake our ears, heave with our lungs, and belch if we can.
Those who can't belch must try .
It
relieves the stomach of gases which
accumulate and which ifnot relieved will go down lower, ro-oll around
the large and the small intestines and rumble in the rumble-seat."
The children broke out into cries, chuckles, and guffaws. Aunt
Mildred rolled her black eyes in revolt . Her beautiful, black-fringed
eyes rolled in her thin, yellow face, she shut her purplish red lips and
with a look of disgust went out to the kitchen.
The orgy degenerated into horseplay, which Uncle Morgan took
in hand. "Enough," he commanded , "Gilbert the Filbert!"
"Morgan the Gorgon," answered Gilbert cheekily but with his
