72
MURIEL SPARK
have habies, write books and feed their husbands - I don't know
how they do it all.
LEONORA: I know how they do it all.
CATHERINE: How?
LEONORA: Badly.
MRS. S.
comes in.
MRS. S.: You got nothing done this morning, Mrs. D. It's always the
same in the holidays when Leonora's here, you sit arguing the toss
and nothing gets done.
CATHERINE: In our way, we've been making progress, Mrs. S.
MRS. S.: In my way, I've been making the beds, Mrs. D.
LEONORA: I made my bed.
MRS. S.: You didn't.
LEONORA: Didn't I? How very odd. I usually do.
CATHERINE: Perhaps you were a bit distracted this morning, Leonora?
MRS. S.: Back to where we started. You better do something.
CATHERINE: What do you want me to do? I don't feel up to much.
Leonora, why did you forget to make your bed?
LEONORA: I have no ide.a. I'm only an absent-minded professor.
You could open my parcel, Catherine,
if
you want something to do.
CATHERINE: I'm saving
it till
this afternoon.
MRS. S.: Go on. Open it and get it over.
(Gets down the parcel.)
CATHERINE: Can I trust you, Leonora?
LEONORA: What do you mean?
CATHERINE: Is it something insulting?
LEONORA: No.
CATHERINE: Mrs. S., where are the scissors?
LEONORA: Untie it. It's easy.
CATHERINE: I want scissors. Kindly allow me to organise my own
home in my own way. Mrs. S.-scissors, please.
MRS. S.: They'll need finding.
(Goes out.)
LEONORA: The situation between us is very unhealthy, Catherine.
CATHERINE: What do you mean?
LEONORA: I mean that you're so anxious about my present. I've never
given you an insulting present. Really, I must leave this house.
CATHERINE: No, Leonora. I don't want you to go. I'm upset.
MRS. S.
comes in with scissors.
It's so exciting, opening a parcel.
