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DORIS LESSING
screamed and screamed I just pulled it out. The kittens began
to suck. One kitten was very big. It was a nice fat black kitten.
It must have hurt her. But she suddenly bit out-snapped,
don't you know, like a reflex action, .at the back of the kitten's
head. It died, just like that. Extraordinary, isn't it?" she said,
blinking hard, her lips quivering. "She was its mother, but she
killed it. Then she ran off the bed and went downstairs into
the shop under the counter. I called to Luigi. You know, he's
Mrs. Rineiri's brother."
"Yes, I know."
"He said, she was too young, and she was badly frightened
and very hurt. He took the .alive kitten to her but she got up
and walked away. She didn't want it. Then Luigi told me not
to look. But I followed him. He held the kitten by the tail and
he banged it against the wall twice. Then he dropped it into
the rubbish heap. He moved aside some rubbish with
his
toe,
and put the kitten there and pushed rubbish over it. Then
Luigi said the cat should be destroyed. He said she was badly
hurt and it would always hurt her to have kittens."
"He hasn't destroyed her. She's still alive. But it looks
to me as if he were right."
"Yes, I expect he was."
"What upset you-that he killed the kitten?"
"Oh no, I expect the cat would if he hadn't. But that
isn't the point, is it?"
"What is the point?"
"I don't think I really know." She had been speaking
breathlessly, and fast. Now she said slowly: "It's not a question
of right or wrong is it? Why should it be? It's a question of
what one is. That night Luigi wanted to go promenading with
me. For him, that was
that.
Something had to be done, and
he'd done it. But I felt
ill.
He was very nice to me. He's a
very good person," she said, defiantly.
"Yes, he looks it."
"That night I couldn't sleep. I was blaming myself. I
