PARTISAN REVIEW
a throbbing
In
his ears until the express elevator reached the 44th
floor.
It
was Martha's birthday and Isabel would be there too who
liked him very much, he knew for sure, and Buck Thomas too, who
hated him because Isabel liked to play post office with him and did
not like Buck Thomas at all.
If
they played post office, he would
get a kiss from Isabel and another one if he went to the kitchen with
Isabel to bring back more ice cream and cake.
He saw the subway kiosk ahead, it was just like the German
helmet Uncle William had brought him back from France, except
it had a spike in it, and he saw the big clock next to it and the little
wooden newsstand. He walked down the steps and carefully thrust
his
nickel into the turnstile, afraid it might get stuck, and pushed the
gate too soon and felt panicky, but then when he pushed a little
more slowly it gave way, swung and clicked and he stood on the
platform, near the pillar, as the train came roaring in like summer
thunder in the upstate mountains.
Mother and Vera had told him to be sure he took the train
which said New Lots Avenue or he would not get to Brooklyn and
the birthday party.
The only thing wrong was that he had no birthday present and
he didn't because they had decided that it was all right for him to
go to the party alone, only in the morning at breakfast time and it
was a Sunday, so no stores except the stationery store were open and
there he could buy something which Mother thought would be
im–
proper as a birthday present for a girl, a toy baseball game which
he had looked at for a very long time in the plate glass window,
but Mother said that baseball was only for lunatics and fanatics.
He looked up at the advertisements above the seats on the other
side of the aisle and began to feel more and more ashamed that he
had no present, all the other children would have presents to give
to Martha, it would be just like that time in school last year when
all the other children gave Miss Swenson Christmas presents, but he
had no present to give because Mother had allowed him to give Miss
Swenson the Thanksgiving candy father had sent him when he was
on the road or coming back again from Chicago: so he was ashamed
twice, because he saw the look on Miss Swenson's face when she
opened the box of candy and saw it was all children's candy, chicken
