SEIZE THE DAY
303
textbook was Lieder and Lovett's
British Poetry and Prose,
a black
heavy book with thin pages. "Did I read that?" he asked himself. Yes,
he had read it and there was one accomplishment at least he could
recall with pleasure. He had read
Yet once more,
0
ye laurels.
How
pure this was to say! It was beautiful.
Sunk though he be beneath
the watery floor .
.. Such things had always swayed him, and now
the power of such words was far, f.ar greater.
Wilhelm respected the truth but he could lie, and one of the
things he lied often about was
his
education. He said he was an
alumnus of Penn State; in fact he had left school before his sopho–
more year was finished. His sister Catherine had a B.S. degree. Wil–
helm's late mother was a graduate of Bryn Mawr. He was the only
member of the family who had no education. This was another sore
point. His father was ashamed of him.
But he had heard the old man bragging to another old man,
saying, "My son is a sales executive. He didn't have the patience to
finis school. But he does all right for himself. His income is up
in
the five figures, somewhere."
"What ... thirty, forty thousand?" said his stooped old friend .
"Well, he needs at least that much for
his
style of life. Yes, he
needs that."
Despite his troubles, Wilhelm almost laughed. Why, that boast–
ing old hypocrite. He knew the sales executive was no more. For
many weeks there had been no executive, no sales, no income. But
how we love looking fine in the eyes of the world-how beautiful
are the old when they are doing a snow-job! It's Dad, thought
Wilhelm, who is the salesman. He's selling me.
He
should have
gone on the road.
But what of the truth? Ah, the truth was that there were prob–
lems, and of these problems his father wanted no part. His father
was ashamed of him. The truth, Wilhelm thought, was very awkward.
He pressed his lips together, and his tongue went soft; it pained him
far at the back, in the cords and throat, and a knot of
ill
formed
in
his chest. Dad never was a pal to me when I was young, he x:eflected.
He was at the office or the hospital, or lecturing. He expected me to
look out for myself and never gave me much thought. Now he
looks down on me. And maybe in some respects he's right.
