SEIZE THE DAY
411
the seas. You must go along with the actual, the Here and Now, the
glory ..."
. . . Chest weakness, Wilhelm's recollection went on. Margaret
nursed him. They had two rooms of furniture which were afterwards
foreclosed. She sat on the bed and read to him. He made her read
for days, and she read stories, poetry, everything in the house. He felt
dizzy, stifled when he tried to smoke. They had him wear a flannel vest.
Come then, Sorrow!
Sweetest Sorrow!
Like an own babe I nurse thee on my breast!
Why did he remember that? Why?
"You have to pick out something that's in the actual, immediate
present moment," said Tamkin. "And say to yourself-here and now,
here and now, here and now. 'Where am
I?'
'Here.' 'When is it?' 'Now.'
Take an object or a person. Anybody. 'Here and now I see a person.'
'Here and now I see a man.' 'Here and now I see a man sitting on a
chair.' Take me, for instance. Don't let your mind wander. 'Here and
now I see a man in a brown suit. Here and now I see a corduroy shirt.'
You have to narrow it down, one item at a time and not let your
imagination shoot ahead. Be in the present. Grasp the now, the moment,
the instant."
'Is he trying to hypnotize or con me?' Wilhelm wondered. 'To
take my mind off selling? But even if I'm back at seven hundred bucks,
then where am I?'
As if in prayer, his lids coming down with raised veins, frayed
out, on his significant eyes, Tamkin said, "Here and now I see a button.
Here and now I see the thread that sews the button. Here and now I
see the green thread." Inch by inch he contemplated himself in order
to show Wilhelm how calm it would make him. But Wilhelm was
hearing Margaret's voice as she read, somewhat unwillingly,
Come then, Sorrow .
..
I thought to leave thee
And deceive thee,
But now of all the world I love thee best.
Then Mr. Rappaport's old hand pressed his thigh and he said, "What's
my wheat? Those damn guys are blocking the way. I can't see."
VI
Rye was still ahead when they went out to lunch, and lard
was holding its own.
They ate in the cafeteria with the gilded front. There was the
same art inside as outside. The food looked sumptuous. Whole fishes
were framed like pictures with carrots, and the salads were like terraced
landscapes or like Mexican pyramids; slices of lemon and onion and
