SE I ZE THE DA Y
381
Finally he said, " I guess that's the medical standpoint. You may be
right. I just couldn't live with Margaret. I wanted to stick it out,
but I was getting very sick. She was one way and I was another. She
wouldn't be like me, so I tried to be like her, and I couldn't do it."
"Are you sure she didn't tell
you
to go," the doctor said.
"I wish she had. I'd be in a better position now. No, it was me. I
didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stay. Somebody had to take the
initiative. I did. Now I'm the fall guy too."
Pushing aside in advance all the objections that his son would
make, the doctor said, "Why did you lose your job with Roja.x?"
"I didn't, I've told you."
"You're lying. You wouldn't have ended the connection. You
need the money too badly. But you must have got into trouble." The
~mall
old man spoke with great strength. "Since you have to talk
and can't let it alone, tell the truth. Was there a scandal-a woman?"
Wilhelm fiercely defended himself. "No, Dad, there wasn't any
woman. I told you how it was."
"Maybe it was a man, then," the old man said wickedly.
Shocked, Wilhelm stared at him wi th burning pallor and dry
lips. His skin looked a little yellow. "I don't think you know what
you're talking about," he answered after a moment. "You shouldn't let
your imagination run so free. Since you've been living here on Broad–
way you must think you understand life, up to date. You ought to know
your own son a little better. Let's drop that, now."
"All right, Wilky, I'll withdraw that. But something must have
happened in Roxbury nevertheless. You'll never go back. You're just
talking wildly about representing a rival company. You won't. You've
done something to spoil your reputation, I think. But you've got girl
friends who are expecting you back, isn't that so?"
"I take a lady out now and then while on the road," said Wil–
helm. "I'm not a monk."
"No one special? Are you sure you haven't gotten into complica–
tions ?"
He had tried to unburden himself and instead, Wilhelm thought,
he had to undergo an inquisition to prove himself worthy of a sympa–
thetic word. Because his father believed that he did all kinds of gross
things.
"There is a woman in Roxbury that I went with. We fell in love
and wanted to marry, but she got tired of waiting for my divorce. Mar–
garet figured that. On top of which the girl was a Catholic and I had
to go with her to the priest and make an explanation."
Neither did this last confession touch Dr. Adler's sympathies or sway
his calm old head or affect the color of his complexion.
"No, no, no, no; alI wrong," he said.
Again Wilhelm cautioned himself. Remember his age. He is no
longer the same person. He can't bear trouble. I'm so choked up and
congested anyway I can't see straight. Will I ever get out of the woods,
