PARtiSAN REVIEW
because music is heard and seldom seen, except by musicians. Could
this compulsion to put invisibility down in black and white be thus
an urge to make music of invisibility? But I am an orator, a rabble
rouser-Am? I
was,
and perhaps shall be again. Who knows? All
sickness is not unto death, neither is invisibility.
I can hear you say, "What a horrible, irresponsible bastard!" And
you're right. I leap to agree with you. I am one of the most ir–
responsible beings that ever lived. Irresponsibility is part of my in–
visibility; anyway you face it, it is a denial. But to whom can I be
responsible, and why should I be, when you refuse to see me? And
wait until I reveal how truly irresponsible I am. Responsibility rests
upon recognition, and recognition is a form of agreement. Take the
man whom I almost killed: Who was responsible for that near
murder-I? I don't think so, and I refuse it. I won't buy it. You
can't give it to me.
He
bumped
me, he
insulted
me.
Shouldn't he, for
his own personal safety, have recognized my hysteria, my "danger
potential"? He, let us say, was lost in a dream world. But didn't
he
control that dream world-which, alas, is only too real !- and didn't
he
rule me out of it? And if he had yelled for a policeman, wouldn't
I
have been taken for the offending one? Yes, yes, yes! Let me agree
with you, I was the irresponsible one; for I should have used my
knife to protect the higher interests of society. Some day that kind
of foolishness will cause us tragic trouble. All dreamers and sleep–
walkers must pay the price, and even the invisible victim is responsible
for the fate of all. But I shirked that responsibility; I became too
snarled in the incompatible notions that buzzed within my brain.
I was a coward . . .
But what did
I
do to be so blue? Bear with me.
