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PARTISAN RIEVIEW
And with the words For this is my Blood of the New Testament, he
knelt so deep in burden of blood that no priestly image entered
him,
and whispered again, Which is shed for you, and for many, for the
remission of sins. And slowly one by one, while his hands lifted, the
words stood up within his silence.
o
Thou Lord God my Saviour: ("my Saviour," he whispered) :
Look down on this Thy child.
Lord bless (he tried); 0 Lord lift up (he tried); 0 Lord forgive
Thy child.
He could just see the empty Altar. There were no more words.
Do this as oft as ye shall drink it,
in
remembrance of me.
No more.
"Look down on this Thy child," he whispered aloud.
Now his knees hurt very badly.
"For Jesus' sake Amen," he whispered, crossing his breastbone with
his thumb. He stood up.
If
he went into the vestry they would say, What you doing up?
They would tell him to get on back to bed. Not mean about it because
of the night it was but they would tell him all the same. Because it was
the rule. Or maybe they wouldn't but if they did and he didn't go on
back to bed it would be even worse than if they hadn't seen him. "I told
him Father," he heard Lee Allen say in his serious hollow voice. "That's
right Father," George Fitzgerald said, nodding soberly. And that was al–
ways worse when somebody had told you; Prefects. "What did you stay
out for then?" "I dunno Father." "Course you know. Why did you stay
out? Why did all of you stay out, Toole? You heard me tell you all
to come straight back to bed." Where were they? He was suddenly
scared.
If
they had gone back it would be even worse for him if he
didn't go back too. "Where's Richard?" "I dunno Father." "Course you
know, you all went together. Where is he?" "Honest Father
I
dunno.
Last I seen him he was still in Lady Chapel." That ought to make it
all right. Still in Lady Chapel. He was late but it was because he was
praying. Can't whip anybody for that. "You know what the rule is."
No. He'd say that to him, not them, him, at Council Meeting; they'd
come back in time. "You know what I told you: come right on back
to bed." "But I was staying a second watch Father. Ask Lee. Ask
George if I wasn't" "I don't care what you were doing. I told you to
come straight back to bed and you didn't do any such thing. Now
what have you got to say for yourself?" Or no, maybe he would look
embarrassed and just mutter something about You see to it you do what
