LIFE AND LETTERS
987
how difficult it was to help anyone so modest and retmng, anyone
who had evaded life for so long. She had decided, at last, that it
would be easier to start the other end, to put the issue fairly and
squarely before Mrs. Searle herself.
If
there was any truth in the
excuse of her defenders, if it was in fact the shock of her son's sud–
den death, then surely she could be made to see that the living could
not be sacrificed to the dead in that way. And yet, and yet, one hes–
itated to speak, it was the last day of the visit and nothing had been
said. "It's now or never, Elspeth Eccles" she said aloud.
"My dear, Miss Eccles" her hostess drawled. "How this cheers
me! To hear you talk to yourself. I was just beginning to feel daunted.
Here she is, I thought, the representative of the 'hungry generations'
-straightforward, ruled by good sense, with no time for anything but
the essential-and they're going to 'tread me down.' How can
I?
I
thought, with all my muddled thinking and my inhibitions-only the
other day that new, young physics tutor was telling me about them–
how can I resist them? It seemed almost inhuman! And then I hear
you talking to yourself. It's all right, I breathe again. The chink in
another's armour, the mote in our brother's eyes, how precious they
are! what preservers of Christian charity!" "That doesn't sound a
very well-adjusted view of life" said Elspeth, in what she hoped was
a friendly and humorous voice.
"Doesn't it?" said Miranda. "So many people say that to me
and I'm sure you're all quite right. Only the words don't seem to con–
nect in my mind and I do think that's so important, in deciding
whether to think a thing or not, I mean.
If
I don't connect the words,
then I just don't have the thought. And 'adjusted' never connects with
'life' for me, only with 'shoulder strap'."
With her wide-brimmed straw hat, flowing-sleeved chiffon dress,
and her constantly shaking long earrings, Mrs. Searle looked like a
figure at the Theatrical Garden Party. Laying down the box of
Army and Navy Stores cigarettes which was her constant companion,
she began rapidly to pick the gooseberries from the thorny bushes.
"Put them all into the bowl will you" she said, a cigarette hang–
ing from the corner of her mouth. "I want Mrs. Parry to make a fool
so we shall need a good number of them."
"Why do you need more to make a fool?" asked Elspeth. "Be–
cause of the sieving," said Miranda shortly and contemptuously.
