PARTISAN REVIEW
last name begins with S . . . . B. S.-yes, Henri Martin . . . . She
asked me
if
you had a brother and if it was he whose marriage had
just been announced .... How did I feel? What do you think! ....
Oh, the truth . . . . Condolences; you know . . .. Well, I can tell
you that I didn't go on about it. I said that there were people waiting
for me at home .... Don't look for things that aren't there. It's
all perfectly simple. People hate to be fooled, and little by little I've
managed to fool everybody . . . . I didn't want to lose a minute of
us . . . . Makes absolutely no difference. Let them say what they
like . . . . We've got to be fair. People don't understand our kind
of arrangement .... People don't .... Where people are concerned,
you either love or you hate. Separations are separations. They see,
right away. You'll never make them understand .... You'll ....
you'll never make them understand certain things . . . . The best
thing to do is to be like me and laugh at them .... Absolutely
(A
stifled groan.)
Oh! .... Nothing. I'm talking to you, I'm talking;
it's just like always, and suddenly the truth hits me . . . .
(Tears)
.... Why do we try to pretend? .... Yes .... yes .... No!
Then, we were seeing each other. We could lose our heads, forget
promises, take impossible chances, make sure of our love in bed, em–
bracing. A look could change everything. But with this machine,
what's done is done .... Don't worry. People don't kill themselves
twice . . . . Maybe, to get to sleep . . . . I wouldn't know how to
buy a pistol. Can you imagine me buying a pistol! .... Where'd
I find the strength to make up a lie, my poor darling? .... None at
all .... I'd have to be able to. There're some situations when a lie
is useful. You, for instance:
if
you were to tell me a lie so that our
separation wouldn't hurt so much . . . . I didn't say that you're
lying. I said:
If
you were to tell me a lie, and I knew it. For example,
if you weren't at home, and you told me that you .... No, dearest!
Listen .... I believe you .... I didn't mean that I didn't believe
you .... Why are you angry? .... Yes, your voice is ugly. All I
said was, that if you were lying to me out of the goodness of your
heart and I found out about it, it would only make me love you
more .... Hello, hello! .... Hello! ....
(She hangs up_. saying
veTy quickly and in a low voice:)
Dear God, make him call me
back. Dear God, make him call me back. Dear God, make him call
me back. Dear God, make him call me back. Dear God, make
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