OBSESSIONS OF BERLIN
to consider the claims of misery to be: grossly exaggerated. The doctors
know differently, of course; they measure, weigh, and keep records
and offer proof that these children are not like other children, for
they weigh less, grow to lesser heights, and die sooner when sick.
The older children are realists in the world of hunger. Their early
life belonged to Adolf Hitler; no other ideas but those of the Nazis en–
tered their minds. No one contradicted their childish empty talk. Theirs
was the future-supposedly. And then all this collapsed. What was good
became bad, what was once laudable was now cursed; if no one dared
to oppose their childish arrogance, now no one seemed to care for them
at all. They were either a burden, or a source for additional food, which
they gathered by becoming smalltime operators on the black market.
Some no longer had parents; others who had, no longer cared for them.
They needed help which no one could provide; so they tried to help
themselves and sometimes they succeeded.
Disregarding the ever-present propaganda for the prevention of
diseases, girls look for soldiers. They have been raped, why shouldn't
they sell? What is all this talk about morals anyway? Of course, syphilis
is not worth a pack of cigarettes. But neither is it good to be healthy
and hungry. All is a gamble anyway, the good often die quicker than the
bad. There is no love and no romance, it is all business on the barter
level. There is little prostitution in the old sense of the word although
there are still prostitutes around the
Alexanderplatz.
If
enough buyers
were at hand, prostitution would be general. Sex is a way of getting
food as good as any other, and often the only way. The escapades of
wife and daughter in search of food are disregarded ; love completely
disarmed, faces hunger.
The adolescents are frightfully realistic about the new relationship
of hunger and love, of existence and sociality. No values other than
material ones arouse their interest. They are practitioners of the empty
life. The immediate personal gain in terms of things-edible, usable-is
their only concern. Narrow-minded, without scruples, they turn their
cold egotistical eyes upon the world of rubble in search for plunder left
by the plunderers of yesterday. And since so little is left their selfishness
is miserly; not even toward themselves do they know generosity. They
calculate, count, ration, hoard, to secure their mere existence in spite of
everything and everybody.
Hunger shows; it drives the smiles from the faces and tightens the
skin on the bones. The flesh turns yellowish-brown and eyes sink into
their sockets. There is an irritated tired look in the eyes, and sadness and
anger around the mouth. The backs are bent and the steps are unsure
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