PARTISAN REVIEW
But could I have momentarily borrowed Gandhi's attitude to
life and death, what would I have done as the man who called him–
self Tony rang my number? With enough straining, with maybe a
resort to urgent, concentrated prayer, could I have found the gentle
but effective words to make Tony see that there were more charming
ways to spend a morning? I practiced this angle for awhile:
"I'm afraid you
do
have the wrong number." Soberly, hang up.
Disconcerting enough, but rather negative.
"It's a nice day for the beach, sir. Why don't you go swim–
ming?-might help you cool off a little." The voice with a compas–
sionate smile. Too flippant.
"There are many lonely women in the world, and there are
more acceptable ways to meet them than this. Have you tried joining
a Lonely Hearts club? Don't you have any kind of hobby?" Con–
descending, as though I were forever above his need. Ambiguously
worded, too, that last, fraught with the possibility of an abrupt .answer.
"Listen, you know you aren't supposed to go around doing things
like this. I think I know what made you do it, though, and I think
a psychiatrist would help you quite a bit, if you'd cooperate." The
enlightened woman's yap. Probably'd hang up on me.
Anyway, it was too late. And, after
all,
Gandhi was Gandhi,
an old man, moreover dead, and I was I, a young woman, more or
less alive. Since I was unable to hit on the proper pacifist approach,
since, indeed, I doubted the efficacy of the pacifist approach in this
crisis, should I, eschewing cowardice, have shouted bitter, indignant
words to frighten Tony? Not that, either. Besides, I hadn't gauged his
mood. He had spoken casually enough, but there had been an under–
tone of something. Restrained glee? Playfulness? Confidence? Des-
peration? I didn't know.
·
Then, to help protect my sisters, should I have turned toward
the official avenues? Was it my responsibility to have responded with
pretended warmth, invited him over, and had the police waiting with
me when he arrived? Say I had sorrowfully pressed the matter, say
Tony were consequently found guilty (of abusing
his
communication
privileges, of course) -the omnipotent they (representing us) would
have merely restricted his liberty for awhile, in the name of punish–
ment. What would he have done when he was let go, his debt to
society as completely repaid as society, who had created
his
condition,
IOM
