TEMPTATIONS OF
DR.
HOFFMANN
419
most irrelevant prejudices. He wasn't interested in me because I had
nothing to do with his life, but I think he unconsciously demanded
that Dr. Hoffmann and I should have been divided by my lack of
belief in the principles which governed Dr. Hoffmann's understanding
of the world. The fact that we had remained friendly seemed to tell
him more about Dr. Hoffmann than about me-and perhaps he was
right.
He said to me, "What do you talk to Dr. Hoffmann about? Re–
ligion?"
"Religion?" I said. "We have never discussed that seriously."
I could not explain this, but it was true. "We talk mostly about politics
and people."
"Are you still in doubt about Dr. Hoffmann's belief in God?"
"Certainly," I said, "but that's merely a private opinion."
My friend gave me a weak smile and departed. I felt quite angry
with him, but I suppose the real truth w.as that we were both angry
with Dr. Hoffmann. My friend and I knew where we stood with each
other, but neither of us had a clear idea of Dr. Hoffmann. I was sud–
denly weary of researches into the problem of the Doctor's religious
faith, even though I didn't feel I had been entirely unsuccessful.
There was that sad business about his mother and nothing he could
say or do would alter the fact that his past and present were overcast
by her ominous and insatiable shadow. Illogically perhaps, my knowl–
edge of Dr. Hoffmann's participation in this prevalent maladjustment
of his times brought him down to earth and gave me the courage to
state once more my conviction that he couldn't approach God or think
of Christ as His Son any more than I could.... Or could he?
I suppose the truth cannot be known. These things are inexpli–
cable, but in naming them so I did not for a moment definitely affirm
his faith . That my mind stubbornly refused to do-all my observations
pointed to the contrary.
