A DANGLING MAN
409
Dec. 22
An
unusual explosion of temper this afternoon when I was
with Myron Adler. I behaved unaccountably, greatly surpris–
ing myself and, of course, bewildering Myron altogether. He
had phoned me about a temporary job taking public opinion
interviews in a study he is directing. I hurried down to meet
him at the
Arrow
for lunch. I arrived first and ,took a table
toward the hack and immediately fell victim to depression.
I had not visited the
Arrow
for a number of years. It was at
one time a hangout for earnest eccentrics where, at almost any
hour of the afternoon or evening, you could hear discussed
socialism, psychopathology or the fate of European Man. It
was I who had suggested that we eat there; for some reason it
had been the first place that came to my mind. Now it depressed
me. Then, as I looked round at the steam tables and the posters
of Japanese with rat faces and foundering ships, I suddenly
saw Jimmy Burns sitting at a table with a man I did not know..
Since the days when we were Comrade Joe and Comrade Jim,
we had seen each other no more than two, perhaps ,three times.
He looked changed; his forehead had grown a little higher and
his expression more severe. I nodded to him hut got no recogni–
tion for my pains; he looked through me in the way which, I
suppose, is officially prescribed for "renegades".
When Myron came in a few minutes later and started at
once to talk about the job, I said impatiently, "Wait a second,
now. Just hold on." "What's the matter?" "Something very
special. Wait till I tell you. You see that man in the brown
suit, over there? That's Jimmie Burns. Ten years ago I was
privileged to call him Comrade Jimmy." "Well?" said Myron.
I said hello to him and he acted as
if
I simply wasn't there."
"Well," said Myron again. "Stop repeating that, will you?" I
said exasperated. "I mean, do you want him to throw his arms
around you?" asked Myron. "You don't get the point. I despise
him. But he has no business ignoring me. I'm going to go right up
to him and say hello whether he likes it or not." "Don't be a fool.
What do you want to make trouble for?" said Myron. "Because
I feel like making trouble. Does he know me or doesn't he? He
knows me perfectly well," I said growing angrier. I'm surprised
(continued on
p.
429)
