10
PARTISAN REVIEW
I should be moved to a different cell,-either of these accidents would
seriously upset me, and I should have to begin my work all over again.
Quite naturally under these circumstances I have often thought
of joining our Army or Navy. I have stood on the side-walk an hour
at a time, studying the posters of the recruiting-offices: the oval por-
trait of a soldier or sailor surrounded by scenes representing his "life."
But the sailor, I understand, may be shifted from ship to ship without
so much as a by-your-Ieave; and then too, I believe that there is some-
thing fundamentally uncongenial about the view of the sea to a person
of my mentality. In the blithe photographs surrounding the gallant
head of the soldier I have glimpsed him "at work" building roads,
peeling potatoes, etc. Aside from the remote possibilities of active
service, those pictures alone would be enough to deter me from enter-
ing his ranks.
You may say,-people have said to me-you would have been
happy in the more flourishing days of the religious order, and tbat, I
imagine, is close to the truth. But even there I hesitate, and the dif-
ference between Choice and Necessity jumps up again to confound
me. "Freedom is knowledge of necessity"; I believe nothing as ardent-
ly as I do that. And I assure you that to act in this way is the only
logical step for me to take. I mean, of course, to be acted
upon
in
this way is the only logical step for me to take.
