This year has brought challenges for me and for many others in public health. Toward the end of the Summer, I learned that the Training Grant from the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), which had been the funding source supporting my education and research, would be ending due to the nationwide budget cuts to public health.
This change in funding meant that the self-directed projects I had been working on, which aligned closely with my research interests and helped me build new skills, would likely have to come to an end. The ability to choose freely which projects to support and which mentors to learn from is every PhD or doctoral student’s dream opportunity. Before the funding cut, I was building research collaborations related to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988) in the United States in preparation for my dissertation. I had invested in countless meetings with stakeholders and potential collaborators across Massachusetts, including with researchers at Boston University and Boston Medical Center. But if all of that stopped, how would my dissertation momentum continue?
The reality of having to stop work that was already in progress was the most discouraging part of losing the AHRQ training grant. When our program director shared the news about the funding cut, he kindly reminded us that there may inevitably be some sunk costs — some projects that we had poured time and energy into over the last year could likely no longer continue, as our time would now have to be directed to other research that could fund our student stipend. The thought of losing work that was already in progress was the hardest part. Thoughts like: “I don’t get to work on my projects anymore,” “I’m losing so much progress I had made over the Summer,” and “I won’t be able to start the new collaborations I had planned for the Fall” all quickly flooded my mind.
Shortly after learning about the funding change, my program director quickly connected me with an alternative graduate research assistantship. After a few conversations, I was able to split my time between two projects with two faculty members as a graduate research assistant. While these two projects are not directly related to my dissertation, they focus on program and policy evaluations, which are directly applicable to the important skills needed for my dissertation.
I had to remind myself that this funding change wasn’t the end of the world. I was still a PhD student, supported by my peers, and surrounded by incredible mentors who genuinely care about my well-being and learning. Choosing to focus on the good helped me reshape those frustrations and negative thoughts into new perspectives: “I now have more structure and accountability,” “I still get to continue doing research,” and “I now have the opportunity to work in teams rather than work independently.”
My new graduate research assistantship opportunity has brought more structure, accountability, and direct mentorship to the work I produce, something I did not have with the AHRQ grant. Losing the AHRQ grant funding has pushed me to reframe my thoughts — to look for what’s still good, what’s still possible, and what’s worth appreciating.
