Kids Say the Darndest Things
By AnneMarie Schiller, SED 2015
A compilation of quotable moments from the students of my kindergarten, third grade and fifth grade classes.
A fifth grader during free writing time:
“Look Ms. Schiller, I’m putting together a PowerPoint on binary, converting binary values to decimals and from decimals. But I’m not adding any animation because I want to keep it simple.”
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While debating over a cartoon character:
Boy 1: “Is that a boy or a girl?”
Boy 2: “Obviously a girl, she’s rolling her eyes.”
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One Recess, Two Proposals
A second grade girl took the ring off my pointer finger, walked away, ran back to me and said, “Give me your hand.”
She was then interrupted by one of my fifth grade boys who said, “No, no, no,” took the ring back off my hand, got down on one knee and said, “Will you be my best teacher?” then slipped the ring on my finger.
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When asked, “Who is the rival of the Red Sox?” my student pointed to me, a native New Yorker, and known Yankee fan. Success.
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“Ms. Schiller, have you listened to #Selfie?”
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When my student in Australia found a quarter:
Student: Is this George Washington?
Me: Yes, he’s on the quarter. It’s worth twenty-five cents.
Student: Is George Washington still put on coins today?
Me: Yes, he’s always on the quarter.
Student: Well shouldn’t Barack Obama be on the money?
—
A new rendition of a classic:
“The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed Ms. Schiller out…”
—
The wise words of a five year old:
“What’s the unluckiest kind of cat? A catastrophe.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
If you’re really big and are a vampire, then you’ll get diabetes.”
—
Discoveries of a seven year old:
“I have lots of things with my name in it: Jackhammer, Jack and the Beanstalk, Jack and the Candlestick, Jack like the pumpkin, and The Jack by AC/DC.”
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Student: Ms. Schiller, are you married?
Me: Oh my goodness! Do you think I am?
Student: No.
Me: Then why did you ask, silly?
Student: Because you’re old and you should be married.
—
Me: Do you know any other languages?
Student: Apple juice!
Me: Languages, silly! Like Spanish, French, Italian…
Student: French!
Me: Really? What can you say?
Student: Hola!
AnneMarie Schiller is a 2015 graduate of the School of Education with a degree in Elementary and Special Education
