NPR: In New Memoir ‘Smacked,’ BUSSW Alum’s Struggle to Understand Ex-Husband’s Addiction Leads Her to Social Work

In an interview with Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air, journalist and recent BUSSW graduate Eilene Zimmerman (SSW’20) examines the hidden addiction that led to her ex-husband’s death, and how she found a path forward in social work. 

Interview by NPR Fresh Air: “A Widow, Not A Wife: ‘Smacked’ Explores An Ex-Husband’s Secret Addiction”

Text excerpt below. To read the full text or listen to the program, please visit the original post here.

Writer Eilene Zimmerman and her ex-husband Peter had been separated for several years when Peter, a wealthy, high-powered attorney, began acting erratically. Days would go by and Zimmerman would hear nothing from him. Peter forgot to prepare meals for the kids and missed cross-country meets and school pickups.

Then, when the kids were 16 and 18, Zimmerman drove to check in on her former spouse, who had been exhibiting alarming flu-like symptoms. She was shocked to find him dead on the floor.

“I tried to listen for a heartbeat and I couldn’t hear one. … I ran out of the house because I was afraid,” Zimmerman says.

When the police and EMTs arrived, they identified drugs and drug paraphernalia among Peter’s possessions. In the days and weeks that followed, Zimmerman learned that Peter had been addicted to cocaine and opioids, and that his death had been caused by infective endocarditis, an infection that is sometimes linked to intravenous drug use.

“The worst part was telling my kids [why he died] and having to see their reaction,” she says. “There was a certain level of shame and guilt that we had that this had happened in front of us and we hadn’t recognized it.”

After Peter’s death, Zimmerman reached out to other lawyers in an attempt to better understand substance abuse within the profession. Her new memoir, Smacked: A Story of White Collar Ambition, Addiction and Tragedy, traces the trajectory of Peter’s addiction as well as her own grief following his death — including her decision to pursue a master’s degree in social work.

“I wanted to focus on end-of-life issues because I thought the way Peter died seemed really sad and lonely and scary,” she says. “For a long time I felt so depressed and sad and just hopeless, and that has changed, and I do feel ready to embrace life and really appreciate — as cliche as it sounds — every day I have here.” […]

Read or listen to the full interview here.