HOW TO RECAPTURE SELECTIVE MEMORIES
109
which was important as we were in straitened circumstances at the time.
In an evil hour, we moved in
to
our apartment in Hanna's house.
Then, in an even more evil hour, we arranged for Hanna and Chris–
tine's mother, Anne roster, nee Lynd, to meet at the Lynd family home
in Belfast. The Second World War had just broken alit and Anne was
passionately in favor of the British war effort. [n expressing her view she
used a two-letter monosyllable with unintended explosive effect. She
said "we" in a context which implied, quite correctly, that she was now
identifying herself as British. Hanna was sitting beside me and I felt her
stiffen at the loathsome word. Hanna said "we," at a volume which
made it almost inaudible, and I don't think Anne heard it. But I heard
it, with a sinking heart.
From now on Hanna was hostile, not directly to me, but directly
to
Christine-and therefore
to
our marriage. And it is at this point that the
phase of which
r
am ashamed begins.
We were still living in Hanna's house when Hanna made the fatal dis–
covery that Christine's family was pro-British and
ipso facto
unaccept–
able. She therefore began
to
make life difficult for Christine in a variety
of little ways. I was vaguely aware of this, but
r
was very busy at the
time and
r
fear [ did my best
to
ignore what was going on. Christine
never complained, although I should have known that she was suffer–
ing, but I averted my eyes and ears. Basically I was afraid of Hanna, but
tried to avoid any realization that this was so. Then a sinister little
episode occurred in which my fear took a paralyzing form.
Our little apartment in Hanna's house was not sealed off but opened
into Hanna's own residence. It was [it by gas, and the window was cov–
ered only by a flimsy gauze screen. Then one evening a breeze blew the
gauze screen over the gas flame and the screen caught on fire. There was
never any real danger, as the screen burned out almost immediately. But
Hanna was on the scene in a flash and used the incident in order to vent
her rage and hatred against Christine. In theory, she was denouncing
both of us for our criminal carelessness in nearly burning the house
down. But in practice, as all three of us knew, it was Christine whom
she wished to punish. I should have spoken up in Christine's defense,
and knew I should. But I became for the time incapable of speech.
I was repeating, as I later realized, an experience of Sean O'Casey's.
He had also been the recipient of a passionate Nationalist diatribe of
Hanna's over a presentation of the
19
I
6 Easter Rising in
The Plough
al1d the Stars,
which fervent Nationalists felt
to
be a blasphemy against
the sacred sacrifice of Pearse in
19
I
6. And O'Casey too, like myself
