LESSING
365
"I've got some money. I've got twenty pounds."
"That's not going to get you far, Ben." He had known she would say
that, and he agreed with her.
"I'll get some money."
She did not ask how. She had been told the story of the building site,
how he had been cheated. He would always be cheated, poor Ben, she
knew that. And so did he.
When morning came she did not get off the bed, but lay there, breath–
ing slowly and carefully. She said, "Ben, I want you to go to the bath–
room, take off your clothes and wash yourself. You don't smell good."
Ben did as she said. He had not washed himself in this thorough way
before, but he remembered what she did, and did the same. But now he
had to put on the dirty clothes.
She said, "Find your old clothes. They're in that cupboard. Take your
new clothes to the launderette, and when you come back here you can
put them on again."
He knew about the launderette. "How do I get back in again, if you
are in bed?"
"The key's on the table. And get some bread and something for you.
And be careful, Ben."
He knew that meant "Don't steal, don't let yourself be carried off
into a rage, be on guard."
He did everything as she would have wanted. Then he went to a little
shop and bought bread for her-the pale yeasty smell always made him
feel a little nauseous-and some meat for himself, and, too, a tin of cat
food. All this he did successfully, and let himself back in, and put on his
clean clothes.
It
was midmorning.
Mrs. Biggs was sitting at the table, her hand at her side.
"Make me a cup of tea, Ben."
He did so.
"And give the cat something."
He opened the tin he had bought for the cat, and watched it crouch
down to eat.
"You're a good boy, Ben," she said, and tears came into his eyes and
she heard him give a sort of bark, which meant he wanted to say thank
you to her, expressing his love and gratitude for those words, but he had
never heard them, except from her. She almost put out her hand to
stroke him as if he were a dog, but he was not a dog, not of that tribe.
She drank her tea, asked for some toast, and lay down again. She
slept, the cat by her. There was Ben, in his clean clothes, full of energy
and something like happiness because of that loving "You're a good
