ARNOST LUSTIG
315
I left her by way of the back entrance, along the locked troughs with
the rain water people washed in sometimes, and which Lea of Leuwar–
den never came or went through because, according
to
her, it brought
bad luck. I could get to the broken-down walls between blocks up to the
number
I,2I8
by way of the courtyard and shortcuts. Adler would
already be waiting for me. I avoided the streets that were watched. Before
I went around the troughs and the latrine I heard somebody turning a big
house key in the lock, and the gate closing before it slammed shut.
The old people in the hall were asking ViIi what was going
to
hap–
pen. I could tell it was him by his voice. Had all the rain cars come?
Were they only cattle cars or personal ones too? No? Yes? They always
dispatched the trains on time. All that was left from yesterday's rain was
dampness and mud. The fog was dispersing quickly. The sky was clear
blue and the sun was giving off rays of gold; the wind had brought to
mind everything that lasted forever and at the same time was fleeting.
The mountains in the distance, the narrow rocks, trees and fields, the
stones. The small islands of poplars standing in their rows.
It
was a land
older than its people, impassive and independent of their desires, and
otherwise more beautiful than they were. The straight streets of the
fortress were in front of me. Day had come.
I happened to find out what ViIi had been doing that night in the
Central evidence building. He hadn't made it to the main room. The
Council clerks who answered
to
the Commandant for the transport had
made sure that the boxes with the registration cards were kept under
surveillance. The leaders already knew that only the people who were
allowed to live had a chance in the east-a chance of ninety-one days
and odds for survival at one to twenty-nine. In order not
to
spread fear,
despair, and panic they kept it to themselves. They couldn't do anything
for the victims anyway, even if they knew who was going.
It
was only a
question of time before they themselves would be in line and the leaders
would become the same victims with the same chances for survival.
Death was the big equalizer. The time that one person would prolong to
the detriment of another person was what wasn't fair; friends and
strangers, men and their wives, old parents. That's why there were so
many prostitutes, because nobody wanted
to
commit themselves to any–
thing. It was a lost night for ViIi. Nobody had been allowed on the streets
until six in the morning. He had slept in his clothes, with his shoes off on
a bench in the hall for people when they waited for their papers to be
sorted out on the third floor of the Magdeburg barracks. He already
knew that nobody would be sent in place of himself or Lea from Leuwar–
den. Rabbi M. had locked himself in a flat for the prominents with his
