HEIl)I U IU3AHN DE JAU Il.. ECU I
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He o bse rved ea rl y that rea li ty guides fe eling to th e po int of absurdity.
Thi s also had to do with hi s aversio n to any sort of cl ose physical co ntac t,
whi ch qui ckly sma cked o f th e promiscuity he despi sed . He is "exhaust–
ed, outraged and repulsed" wh en
he
has to fight hi s way to th e dining ca r
in th e train . Fo r lon ge r train trips he typi ca ll y booked two sleepers-one
for himself and o ne fo r hi s wife. On e o f th e few di sagreements w ith her
noted in the diar y centers aro und th e oppressive cl ose ness o f travelin g:
" Unfo rtunatel y, lit into K. rath er badl y. Lo ng fo r a so litary refu ge. Am
fine , person all y."
And yet he became impati ent and helpl ess when , on occasion , hi s wife
and eldes t daughter, hi s Anti gone-daughter, left him alo ne. " J) ays of soli –
tude in store," he reco rds dej ectedl y, adding omin ously: "at the mercy o f
the teleph o ne." He had erected a barri er, constructed a shelter to pro tect
himself fi·om th e world: hi s fa mil y. In fac t, some of hi s six children , fo r
fin ancial or oth er reason s, required help fi·om th eir parents thro ughout
their lives. And even th o ugh hi s wife carri ed the lion 's share of the burden ,
hi s po rti o n was mo re than enough wh en o ne considers what he was will –
in g to subj ect himself to. We see thi s littl e wo rld in th e di ari es-acting as
arbi ter in siblin g squabbl es and hi s daughters' mari tal cri ses, cri tiquin g the
wo rk of children who we re becomin g autho rs in their own ri ght.
C hri stmas parti es with g randchildren, asso rted pi eces o f advice, all took a
symboli c place in the wri ter's life structure. The fa mil y, somewhat sym–
boli ca ll y, probably became the mos t renowned arti sti c fa mil y of th e
century. Th ere are tou ching moments as well: compassion fo r hi s el des t
daughter, wh o o ften hid away, bitter at her siblings and th e world , and fo r
hi s Swi ss daughter- in - law, wh o was pale and qui et because she was hav in g
"a hard time of it wi th th e ner vous, egomani aca ll y ambi ti o us, tyranni ca l
fath er of her children," hi s son , th e vio lini st. H e was a keen-eyed fa th er and
grand fa ther. It woul d, fo r example, probably be mo re accurate to cl assify hi s
love fo r hi s g randson, Frido (th e Echo- chil d in
Doktor
FclllSI IlS)
,
as o ne of
those adve ntures of th e se nses whi ch hel ped him to crea te. He close ly
observed th e g rowin g boy's progress and held out th e possibility that
" nothin g parti cularl y pl easant" wo uld come of him. Afte r w i tness ing some
triflin g mi sbehav io r by Fri do's yo un ger bro ther he wa nted to pu t the boy
into a homc f(H maladj ustcd childrcn . Hc le,1rned of hi s eldes t so n's sui –
cide while on ,1 lecture tour. In the d iary we see hi s dcep compass io n fo r
hi s wife and fo r th e daughter who was Kl aus's LlVo ri te sister. Fo r hi s own
part he notes no emot io n, ,1S th ough do in g so we re no t hi s respo nsibility.
In art, ewry li e comes out- li es don't ewn make it in to the di ary. He sim–
ply pu ts on ,1 black tie and continues w ith the tou r. People are wa iting
f()!"
him , persona l tr,1gedy or not- and h is w ife goes with him . H is son's sui–
cide had bee n com ing for a long time; there had been repeated threats and
