PETER ESTERHAZY
279
freedom, and we thought we knew what we must do, now that it is time,
we're perplexed about the what and the how of it. It's all we can do to
look one step ahead, and even that only in the best of cases.
The real problem
For want of anything better, we would like to follow Western mod–
els, but without having· faith in them. Of course, this approach may be
too inflexible, and possibly it is this copying of Western models (which
cannot be copied) that will open new prospects, making us stir, here and
there, out of our present predicament, this emptiness, and we will ask
different questions after
all,
or else questions to which, who knows, there
might even be an answer. We haven't got the answers now, which means
that we haven't even got real questions. We're being swept along, not
knowing what to do with our cultural heritage, our imperatives.
We have experienced the drawbacks of looking ahead in the manner
of old harvest-time posters, with a cloudy gaze in our eyes. Given the
choice, it is still wiser to look just one step ahead, down at our feet. Ex–
cept, we've been told that to be European means to raise your head.
What is this new European like? What will he be like? What is the Faust
like who, because he can't help it, is afraid of the
great?
In
the recent past, the round-table question was, Are you free? And
they had every reason to expect that we would launch into a tirade
against dictatorship, and were puzzled and indignant when someone re–
torted with a question, namely, have they ever asked this question (would
they dare ask it) of an Updike or Handke.
The new question is: How do you see the future? And they have
every reason to expect us to launch into a song of praise and gratitude in
favor of democracy. "How do I see the future? Well, I'm not sure . . .
And you?" What do you mean, me? I happen to be the moderator!"
Then, when the silence is too great, "In that case, old boy, think of me as
a moderator, too, if you don't mind."
The problem
Whom are we moderating?
Translated from the Hungarian by Judith Sollosy
