DORIS LESSING
579
"Yes,
"
said J ody.
"I'm going to have a drink," he said, and it was evident that this
would enable him to turn away from her and her absolute deter–
mination he should share what she felt, and saw. Without asking
her , he poured some whisky for her and put the glass into her hand.
He almost did not sit down again, but then made himelf: she needed
so much that he should.
"I think I'm going to leave early tomorrow morning," she said.
"I might even sleep down here tonight."
He was certainly startled. Then, still in the same way of mak–
ing an effort to meet her, said, "Last night I don't think Angela knew
I was there at all. She was worn out, poor sweet."
"Well, yes," said Jody, intending him to understand she took
this from a quite different point of view . "Anyway, I don't think I can
stand it," she said, tears threatening to engulf her voice . But she
shook her head , took a gulp of her drink, and made herself smile.
"I know one thing, you are making a decision when you're very
upset. That's always a mistake."
"I didn't say I was making a decision, I said I was leav–
ing .. . oh, all right, then it is a decision. But I don't think decisions
made in haste are always bad ones."
He said, "Perhaps it is not always an advantage to be so
relentlessly full of insight." This sounded spiteful, and he added
quickly, "Oh I'm not saying you aren't right - but where does it get
you? No , bear with me, I've been thinking about it-you've made
me think. Am I going to be any better for seeing every little
nuance . . . " Her face said satirically,
some nuance,
and he nodded
impatiently. "But perhaps I had taken a decision without knowing it
not
to see everything . . . after all, I'm going to marry Angela and
we are going to be happy. . . . " This tailed off, it was a bad mo–
ment: it was occurring to him (of course it had long ago to Jody,
naturally,
he was thinking angrily) that if Henry didn't marry Jody
then there would be all kinds of new adjustments, complications,
new balances.
"There's one thing you don't seem to see ," said she. "Olga."
"Olga?"
"You have Olga,
your best friend ."
He examined this, on its merits. "Yes, my best friend, and yes ,
you're right, without Olga .. . yes, without her I'd find it all. . .. "
"All I have is Marcus.
If
you didn't have your
best .friend
-
has
she married again, by the way?"
