104
PARTISAN REVIEW
should be the one to leave . Ghetto refugees had a saying : "Better stay
alone on the streetcar. " The fewer Jews there were in a place, the
safer each one was.
I was learning that a common fate did nc t always create a feel–
ing of solidarity, that it actually created hostility among competitors
for survival. I had no hope of convincing Miss Okonska that her
decision was unfair, that I was almost penniless and a stranger in the
city, and not at all in a better position than the sisters . But I knew
Miss Okonska was basically kind and believed that she wouldn't
throw me out without finding me another place .
And she did find one . In the same building there was a small
room intended for a concierge but occupied by an old lady who was a
kind of ward of the Church. Miss Okonska introduced me to Miss
Aniela Bijas, vouching for my character and withholding, of course,
the crucial information that I was Jewish. This would be my second
move on the Aryan side, and as the Hebrew saying goes,
"Meshane
makom, meshane mazal.
JJ
Change your place , change your luck.
• •
•
It is pleasant to recall that my new landlady liked me very
much. After a few days she asked me to call her Aunt Aniela. God
forbid I should call her Grandma! She had never married and was
very proud of her membership in a sisterhood of virgins called
Maidens in White . She had worked since girlhood in the homes of
rich families who encouraged her in this celibate state, indeed , re–
quired it. Maidservants deprived of male society were more depend–
able, more faithful; and with thousands of young girls in the over–
populated countryside looking for work, Aunt Aniela had accepted
this condition, reluctantly at first, perhaps -later wholeheartedly.
She was short and plump, in her late seventies or early eighties.
She was poor as could be and completely alone, but she did not ap–
pear unhappy. I never noticed a trace of envy or jealousy. She
deeply believed that "blessed are the poor . . . for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven." Though she accepted every word preached by
the Church and appeared completely fulfilled, my intrusion into her
quiet life seemed to awaken dormant maternal feelings and some
longing for love. She accepted everything I told her about myself. I
dared not tell her I was Jewish, since I had no idea how she would
react to such a startling piece of information . I was Polish and
Catholic .
