It was not you I lost,
but rather the world.
Translated from the German
by
Peter Filkins
Philip Appleman
GERTRUDE C. APPLEMAN (1901-1976)
I wish that all those people
who worship God
could watch my mother die :
could see the skin and
gristle weighing in
at seventy-seven, every melting
pound of flesh a small
death.
God is omniscient, omnipotent,
and omnipresent.
I wish that all the people who
worship God could see her young,
lovely in aprons and
beautiful in kitchens, and could watch
an omnipotent God slowly
twisting her knees and fingers
till they gnarled and knotted, settling in
for thirty years of pain.
I wish that all those people
who worship God
could see the lightning
of His omnipotent cancer stabbing
my mother's belly, her tiny
body tensing at every shock, her sweet
