MARINA TSVETAEVA
193
"Mama, I was dreadfully hungry , but I restrained myself and
only ate one petit-beurre . And Lelik ate one. And the little girl ate
all the rest .
" Then we started to get ready to go home , but Mademoiselle
wouldn ' t let us go for anything, because we hadn't danced yet. Lelik
and I thought we were going to watch, but then it turned out that we
were supposed to dance ourselves."
, 'What did you dance?"
"Just what they showed me. Mademoiselle dances well, very
gracefully, though of course, old dances . When Lelik saw that we
weren't dancing the Hungarian he started frowning and announced
that he was dizzy. But she danced with him a bit anyway . She danc–
ed with everyone and got very tired. Oh yes! The most important
thing. Over the sofa in the living room is a portrait of
Mademoiselle-when she was young. She's lying on the grass
reading a book, and there are apples near her. She's wearing a pink
dress with ruffles-and is very pretty. And thin, too, only now it ' s
from old age, and then it was from youth.-And her nose grew. Her
sister painted it-not the crazy one, the other one-who's a bit
touched and doesn't like the dust to be taken out of her room. She
sweeps it under the rug and keeps it. But it's a wonderful painting. "
"How was it when you left?"
"Oh, just fine . We kissed and I thanked her, and she thanked
me. She was very pleased with your book, but I don't think she
looked at the inscription - I think she thought it was just something
for her to read. But then just think, tomorrow in the train she'll
realize and be even more pleased . When we said goodbye I invited
her to our Christmas tree again and she said that she would defi–
nitely come . What are we going to give her - gloves or stationery?"
* * *
Gloves or stationery? As bad luck would have it, as ever, there
was no money for the once and forever! - for the last gift.
Or perhaps a notebook? There are quite inexpensive ones. Or
maybe - one is so loathe to go out at the last pre-Christmas-tree
moment-nothing? We just-invited her for the tree. Why should
there be presents anyway? After all , you only give presents to
children . .. .But the crudeness of the self-persuasion and the ar–
tificiality of the arguments made it clear - a present was necessary.
Only what should it be : gloves or stationery?
The gloves, it turned out, had already been purchased by the
