MICHEL TOURNIER
of his
'tadium vita',
which at moments becomes a physical suffer–
ing, an unbearable nervous and muscular anguish. What am I
saying? - at moments? . . . This is a state in which he finds
himself, he says, nine days out of ten.
He repeats to me the fact that, for many years now, he has writ–
ten only on order and urged on by a need for money.
"That is to say that, for some time, you have written noth–
ing for your own pleasure?"
"For my own pleasure?" he continues. "But my pleasure
consists precisely in writing
nothing.
I should have done some–
thing other than writing, for my own pleasure. No, no; I have
never written anything, and I never write anything, save under
compulsion, forced to, and cursing against it."
*
By very different paths to be sure, I constantly agree with him
and subscribe to almost everything he writes, for which I most
often feel nothing but an unlimited admiration.
*
Valery's system involves a sort of austerity (and this is what
makes him so admirable in my eyes) and renunciation of which I
do not feel at all capable.
*
I experience nothing but joy in noting his incontrovertible su-
periority and his widespread influence, which are tempered by
the most charming graciousness. I hold myself to be but very lit–
tle in comparison with him, but have learned not to suffer from
this. He no longer stands in my way; I have accomplished my
work on a different plane from his - which I understand too well
and admire too much not to admit that that work of mine has no
place in his system and no value in his eyes.
to
53
We could, it is true, ask ourselves ifValt!ry's greatest failing was not
precisely to find himself empty-handed when faced with Gide's work
and goodness knows how many others'. Isn't the rationale for any
"system" that it should encompass and account for everything? The
fact is that Valery's technical and purely intellective "primariness,"
although it did give Gide some sort of elevating and stern "lesson,"
could not respond to the force of his sensual nature or his desires.
Nor was there any lack of "primary" characters in the young Gide's
I°Extracts are taken from
TheJoumals
of
Andre
Gide,
1889-1949, trans. Justin OBrien
(Seeker and Warburg: London,
1947-49).
