DONALD BARTHELME
503
--And yet with my really wizard! good humor and cheerful
thoughtless mien, 1 have caused a lot of trouble.
-I suppose that's true. Strictly speaking.
-Bounding into the woods on all fours barking like a
mother biting at whatever moves in front of me–
-Do you also save string?
-On my free evenings and paid holidays. Making the most
of the time 1 have here on this earth. Knotting, sewing, weaving,
welding.
-Naming babies, Lou, Lew, Louis.
-And his toes, wonderful toes, that man has got toes.
-Decorated with rings and rubber bands.
-Has a partiality for white. White gowns, shifts, aprons,
flowers, sauces.
-He was a salty dog all right. Salty dog.
-I was out shooting with him once, pheasant, he get one,
with his fancy shotgun. The bird bursting like an exploding
pillow.
-Have to stand there and watch them, their keen eyes
scanning the whatever. And then say "Good shot!"
-Oh 1 could have done better, better, 1 was lax.
-Or worse, don't fret about it, could have put your cute
little butt in worse places, in thrall to dismaler personalities.
-I was making an effort. What 1 do best.
-You are excellent at it. Really first-rate.
-Never fail to knock myself out. Put pictures on the walls
and pads under the rugs.
-I really admire you. I really do. To the teeth.
-Bust your ass, it's the only way.
-As we learn from studying the careers of all the great
figures of the past. Heraclitus and Launcelot du Lac.
-Polish the doorknobs with Brasso and bring in the sea
bass in its nest of seaweed.
-And not only that. And not only that.
-Tickling them when they want to be tickled. Abstaining,
when they do not.
-Large and admirable men. Not neglecting the small and
ignoble. Dealing evenhandedly with every situation on a case–
by-case basis.
