JERRY BUMPUS
373
with wide brass bands-and reached Ursula Dolman just as the dogcart
was about to flip over on top of the large lady.
"Oh Ur, how wonderful of you to
cornel"
Tina said. "You will get
to meet my husband!"
"There, child," Ursula Dolman said, leaning on Tina and bend–
ing her like a twig as they climbed to the terrace where Mrs. Sheehan
called, "Bless you for coming," and went back to her nervous, waiting:
now she stared at the wooden bridge up the way.
"Well," Ursula said. "So it's tea on the terrace, is it? All this for
him, eh?" Not waiting for a reply from Mrs. Sheehan, Ursula called
loudly, "My chair!" and two servants rushed out with an oak bench.
"Isn't it exciting, Ur?" Tina said. "My husband is an outdoors–
man!"
"There, child," Ursula said, tapping Tina's cheek with a thick
finger.
"What really is an outdoorsman, Ur?" Tina said, kneeling at her
feet.
Ursula called over her shoulder, "Haven't you told her anything?"
In reply there was an incomprehensible twittering. "My child," Ursula
said to Tina, "an outdoorsman is one who has such a tremendous urge
to shoot, that he tromps through one jungle after another, traverses
miles and miles of desert, tops all mountain peaks time allows, and
returns home with a hundred stuffed heads. The outdoorsman then
writes a book about the tribes he has outraged, and gives lectures on the
numerous sheiks with whom he has palavered."
"Sheiks!
Haw
utterly grand! And will he take me with him on his
desert treeks?"
"Treks, my dear. Only if you insist."
"Oh I shall! How grand it shall be! Won't it, Ur?"
Ursula Dolman shook a packet of smokes from her big sleeve, lit
up, and said, "Frankly, my dear, no. Wind , shifting sand, wild
men.... I'll not likely forget sinking knee-deep in sand at the funeral
of your dear mother, God rest her sou l. "
.
Tina bowed her beehive and her aluminum lips tapped out a
quick prayer. Then she looked up and brightly said, "Was her death
just awful?"
" Primitive rituals are always the worst. But I've told you all that a
thousand times and I don't feel like mulling over it again." Ursula
raised her voice and called, "I say, when is this person scheduled to get
here?"
Mrs. Sheehan glanced at the little watch pinned to her dress and
said, "Any minute. Oh my."
