278
MARK MIRSKY
that. Let her hope, at least for a little while. Her only son. Her one
blessing in life. The husband ran away. Her parents are dead and
they never spoke to her when they were alive - on account of her
husband. Vey! All she had was this boy, Harvey. And he
runs
away, just like the father.
If
only he had just run away. But he
sends a postcard back. He loves his mother. At a distance. He sends
her gifts. Knifes and hand grenades. Now she loves him twice
as
much. And then he disappears. And they send a form to her - dead
or missing. Let her get used to it. Let her think that he's just missing
for awhile. Can I tell her that he's dead? Let her avoid it for awhile.
Yehoodiss, what can I do? You got to have a little compassion.
Rachmoniss ... pity. Have a little rachmoniss for her."
If
only Rabbi Lux had opened to his wife. Aside from some
practical results, better digestion, no gas pains, regular movements,
who knows what intangible effects it would have had?
But Rabbi Lux was not the man to do that. Rabbi Lux's genius
was his composure.
It
was a gift, however, that could go only one
way. Rabbi Lux could give sympathy but he could not take it.
A
small flaw, a touch, the slightest taint, of pride
is
in it.
Yet how could Rabbi Lux be proud? His manner was so meek
and kindly, almost obsequious. He was charitable, generous, always
thinking of others, always trying to understand the world.
Ah yes! He tried to understand the world. Who can under–
stand the world? Did Rabbi Lux ever claim that he could? Well–
he never said that he couldn't. What he couldn't understand - he
moved away from. He hushed it. He swallowed it. Evil made a stir
in his bowels but not in his brains. He sat in the bathroom with a
black puppik. But his faith was unclouded. What bothered
his
stomach never troubled his mind. Life was good. He would find the
goodness in a person - no matter how ugly his deeds. Through
sympathy, he would lead the poor fellow back to an understanding
of goodness, the goodness in himself and in the world around
him.
Rabbi Lux already had this understanding. For Rabbi Lux to ask
for sympathy would have been to admit that he, the Rabbi, did not
understand. And this the Rabbi could not do. He had a faith in
good - so what did he need sympathy for? For his bowels? On
that level, he would accept it.
Rabbi Lux! Man is a grasshopper. Why didn't you read
.'
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