PROTEAN MAN
15
was saved from death only by the war's end; then a youngster con–
fused in his beliefs after Japan's surrender, but curious about rather
than hostile toward American soldiers; soon an eager young exponent
of democracy, caught up in the "democracy boom" which swept
Japan; at the same time a youthful devotee of traditional Japanese
arts -
old novels, Chinese poems, kabuki and flower arrangement;
during junior high and high school, an all-round leader, outstanding in
studies, student self-government and general social and athletic ac–
tivities; almost simultaneously, an outspoken critic of society at large
and of fellow students in particular for their narrow careerism, on
the basis of Marxist ideas current in Japanese intellectual circles;
yet also an English-speaking student, which meant, in effect, being
in still another vanguard and having strong interest in things Amer–
ican; then, midway through high school, experiencing what he called
a "kind of neurosis" in which he lost interest in everything he was
doing and, in quest of a "change in mood," took advantage of an
opportunity to become an exchange student for one year at an Amer–
ican high school; became a convert to many aspects of American
life, including actually being baptized as a Christian under the
influence of a minister he admired who was also his American
"father," and returned to Japan only reluctantly; as a "returnee,"
found himself in many ways at odds with his friends and was accused
by one of "smelling like butter" (a traditional Japanese phrase for
Westerners); therefore reimmersed himself in "Japanese" experi–
ence - sitting on
tatami,
indulging in quiet, melancholy moods, drink–
ing tea and so on; then became a
ronin
- in feudal days, a samurai
without a master, now a student without a university - because of
failing his examinations for Tokyo University (a sort of Harvard,
Yale, Columbia and Berkeley rolled into one), and as is the custom,
spending the following year preparing for the next round rather than
attend a lesser institution; once admitted, found little to interest him
until becoming an enthusiastic
Zengakuren
activist, with full em–
brace of its ideal of "pure Communism" and a profound sense of
fulfillment in taking part in the planning and carrying out of student
demonstrations; but when offered a high position in the organization
during
his
junior year, abruptly became an
ex-Zengakuren
activist by
resigning, because he felt he was not suited for "the life of a revolu–
tionary"; then an aimless dissipator, as he drifted into a pattern of
heavy drinking, marathon mah-jongg games and affairs with bargirls;
