252
PHILIP L. ErREENE
in
the kitchen. The thing that bothers me
is
that she was Larry's
girl for quite a while. I mean, he is my older brother."
I asked him if he wanted the affair, and he shrugged. "Who
knows what I want? The thing with Tibby went sour overnight.
Really. We didn't even have a fight. She said, 'I'm moving out,'
and I said O.K. I'm not like that. I like to analyze a relationship;
that's half the fun. But the lights went out, that's all. So I look at
Lil.
I mean she probably can be good in bed if she works at it.
But she is sick. And there
is
Larry. And maybe Ben with his crazy
moral views
will
get sore. I like Ben. He was the first guy to give me
a sense of social consciousness. I spoke to Marsha this morning and
she insisted that I see a doctor.
So
her analyst arranged for an appoint–
ment with a man he recommends. Do you know him? Talcott Wein–
garten. He's a Sullivanian. I thought of going to Murray, but Marsha
laughed. 'You are naive, Merle. You don't go to your friends. He
knows too much about you.' I thought that was a funny remark, but
I let it go."
I called Ben that night. He was back again at Hudson Street,
and he had put a phone in, because, he said, "Who am I kidding?
Artificial means of severing communications won't work. I have got
to make the break from the inside."
"Why are you breaking?" I asked.
"Actually I'm not.
As
a matter of fact, for the first time in my
life I feel a real spiritual renewal. Why don't you come over and.see;'
When I got to
his
place I saw demolition notices on
all
the
stores. A new luxury building was going up. This one, a big placard
announced, was to be called The Titian Terrace. When I walked
in,
Tibby was sitting in a sling chair, holding a copy of
Civilization and
its Discontents.
"It's all in here," she said with a straight face. "He
says I'm in trouble because I'm using sex as a sublimation for sex."
I laughed and Ben greeted me.
"She really means that Freud is a fraud. Tibby is the answer to
all neuroses. She
is
the incarnation of the love instinct."
"You mean the sex instinct," I offered.
"No, the love instinct. Lil didn't have it. I've been looking for the
direct woman all my life. Look at her in the flesh." He went to her
and kissed her.
"Ben thinks I am the embodiment of Marilyn Monroe and Jean
Harlow. He
is
cute. I think I'm a quiet Bette Davis. Freud says it's
