200
SARAH PLIMPTON
me and my mother. That's when all the guys brought those litde
radios to work with them. Each guy now has one of those things on
his
bench. It makes me so goddamn nervous. It makes those plates
I've got tingle. Have you ever had that shock stuff? They gave
it
to me once. I didn't know where I was for a couple of days. They
said it made me better but they got those rays too and I found
out after awhile. The cops brought me in that time I think."
"So what's the matter? How could I have believed in him?"
"Yeah, I used to wonder that too. In that hospital, these guys
who come and talk to you and try to find out about you, asking
questions about my family and all of that junk. I couldn't care less
and besides they were out to get me, they ve all got those little
machines. Look, lady, I know. Now forget about this guy, every–
body is out to get you. It ain't your fault see? You will come to
my wedding won't you?
If
I marry this
girl,
I mean. Look at this
city will you. Dirty, grubby, heavy. Just leave me off here on the
comer. My
girl
lives up there."
The clearish air of the country has changed into fog, the
lights are expanded in size and hazily sit above the streets. Rows
and rows of identical houses squat beside the road; on each stoop
an identical family group; father, mother, children, grandparents,
relations, all smiling for the old daguerrotype, their faces full of
the wrinkles and pock marks that photograph so well by that pro–
cess. For days I stand with them on the third step from the bottom,
my hair tight around my face posing for the dark funeral picture,
breathing in the dust from the unpaved streets crowded with car–
riages and men on horseback that spray us with mud and disturb
the photographer who hides under his black cloth. I remain until
one of my friends taking a morning walk sees me there and mounting
the steps, pushing the others aside, takes me by the hand, leads me
away and sends me off to find some color.
You call the day I am leaving, to do what? Introduce me to
your new wife?
"I am going away."
"I'll come and see you off."
You come, we talk and they call my flight and I get onto the
airport bus.
You hadn't time to go to the airport.
