112
BERNARD MALAMUD
Dripping brush in hand, he stared down at her. "Please, 1-"
"Father, if you knew the extent of my sins. I have been a
whore-"
After a minute's thought Fidelman said, "
If
so I absolve you."
He ate in a wolfish hurry, as she seated herself at the piano.
"You can't without penance. But listen to the rest. I've had no
luck with men. They're all bastards. Or maybe I jinx them.
If
you
want the truth, I myself am an Evil Eye. Everyone who loves me
is cursed." She moaned as though dreaming.
He listened, fascinated.
"Augusto
is
my uncle. After many others he became my lover.
At least he's gentle. My father swore he'd kill us both. When I got
pregnant I was scared to death. A sin can go too far. Augusto said
to have the baby and give it to an orphanage but the night it was
born I was confused and threw it into the Tiber."
She was sobbing. He drew back.
"The next time we were together Augusto was impotent. Since
then he's been imploring me to confess so that he can recover his
powers. But when I step into the confessional my tongue turns to
bone. Try what he will, the priest can't tear a word out of me. Don't
ask my why, I've been that way all my life." She grabbed his knees.
"Help me, father, for Christ's sake, help me."
Fidelman, after a short tormented time, said in a quavering
voice, "I forgive you, my child."
"The penance," she wailed, "first the penance."
"Say one hundred times each, Our Father and Hail Mary."
"Not enough," Annamaria wept. "More, more, I beg you."
Gripping his knees so hard they shook she burrowed her head into
his black-buttoned lap. He felt the surprised beginning of an erection.
"In that case," Fidelman said, shuddering a little, "better
undress."
"Only," Annamaria said, "if you keep your vestments on."
"Not the cassock, too clumsy."
"At least the biretta."
He agreed to that.
Annamaria undressed in a swoop. Her body was extraordinarily
lovely, the flesh tones glowing. In bed they tightly embraced. She
clasped his buttocks, he cupped hers. Pumping slowly he nailed her
to her cross.
