478
LEV KASSIL
flowers, fenced with lightweight invisible swords and gazed at
themselves in crystal-clear mirrors.
The streets were deserted. Shutters and wide-open doors
banged constantly. Unabating, the wind whistled in chimneys,
howled in the streets like a dog, and tore at people's clothing. The
citizens walked about with their heads down as though bowing
to the wind, and the trees bent down to the ground. The wind
blew dried leaves along the dust-laden road and there was no
sound of children's laughter or the song of birds, nor was there
any scent of flowers. The only noise was a squeaking and rattling
from all around as the weathervanes twirled on the rooftops.
"What has happened?" asked the voyagers in dismay.
"Can't you see?" came the reply. "The winds have ruined
us. Everything has gone with the wind."
The travelers then learned that the country had been seized
by the evil and stupid king who lived on a neighboring island.
He was called Vainglorious the Eleventh-and-Three-Quarters,
because Vainglorious the Eleventh had long since ended his reign
(
and died, and whole numbers were awarded only after a certain
number of years service. Hence the first Vainglorious had been
I
called Zero, and then had come Vainglorious the First-and-a–
Half, Vainglorious the Second-and-a-Half, and so on. Before
the Vaingloriouses the dynasty of Braggarts had been on the
throne. They had ruled for so long that the people lost count,
and the last of them had simply been called Braggart and Five–
Figures-Point-Something. King Vainglorious the Eleventh-and–
Three-Quarters was an extremely frivolous person. He spent so
much money on dandifying himself that he finally squandered
his entire wealth. His people began saying that he had thrown
prudence to the wind, that he was full of hot air, and just a
windbag. And they were right. It was because of this that the
winds of the whole world decided that King Vainglorious was
just the right person for them-the most scatterbrained king in
the world. They gathered on the island and sought to persuade
the king. "Would you like us to broadcast your fame to all
