THE CHESSMAN CASE
507
call upon. They were frail, harmless branches blown about by a
genuine tornado. To the tornado, they are the idealized calm,
pitiful and innocent. He defends and destroys them at the same
time. After he was grown, Chessman learned that his mother was
a foundling. She did not know who she was. He set out to find
her. With the money he got holding up brothels, he hired a detec–
tive to trace his mother's origins. Nothing was discovered.
Early, he contracted bronchial asthma. He was nursed and
protected by his parents, but in his own mind the asthma was a
profound indication of weakness and shame. "The need to be
strong became more demanding with each passing attack." A few
years later, an attack of encephalitis left Chessman tone deaf.
"The disease ravaged [his] personality as well as his physical selL"
This was followed by tantrums at school, cruelty, and hatred of
himself because of aggressive feelings. His mother was injured
in an automobile accident and became permanently paralyzed.
Disasters multiplied. All the family resources were spent on the
mother's illness. When Chessman was 15, his father attempted
suicide, "with a prayer for forgiveness." The family went on the
dole. With the humiliation of food packages, Chessman began his
criminal activity. He told his credulous parents that he had a
paper route and got up early in the morning to rob stores of
provisions left outside. The dole, the food packages, the search
for new doctors and new operations for the mother, are pretexts
for crime; he does not pretend they were more than that.
All pretexts are gradually discarded. Motivation is hidden and
justification is not even attempted beyond the hunger of vanity
and the compulsion of destructiveness. "He committed nine bur–
glaries, he purchased food with forged personal checks and got, in
addition to the food, a dollar or two back in cash." Because of his
childhood illnesses and physical weaknesses, Chessman convinced
himself that he wouldn't live long and that his thefts and forgeries
would be punished by God. His guilt was relieved and, waiting as
he was upon his final and eternal judgment, he could hope his
parents would not discover his misdeeds. Not long after, he went
to a doctor for a simple stomach ache and had his illusion of
imminent death destroyed. He was told he was sound and healthy.
"These words had an almost paralyzing effect....They meant