PARTISAN REVIEW
got into the car with me and drove me off the road and parked, and
pulled my dress up, and hit me when I screamed, and did to me what
he wanted to do. . . .
(A pause.)
And then he cried like a child and
begged me to forgive him, and told me he loved me. . . . And I
drove him home, and then came back here and told you the lie that
you believed. . . . And it isn't only the pain and the humiliation,
Jesse, no, it's not that, nor the fear, even. Something happened that
can't be changed, and that's why I couldn't bear for you to try not to
know about it.... No, it isn't just the pain. Worse, much worse, for
you and for me is the pleasure-the pleasure I had of that man, and
he of me.... So that whatever I think, whatever I do or say, I'm
part of him, and he is part of me ... and there's nothing I can do
for you, Jesse, except to tell this to you.
In telling the story
MARIANNE
has turned her back on
JESSE
and walked toward the extreme end of the stage to the door
leading to the road. During the recital,
JESSE
has moved
backward to the other end of the stage; he hears the last
part of it standing with his back against the door of the
room from which
MARIANNE
emerged. As
MARIANNE
con–
cludes, she turns around to see what
JESSE'S
reaction will
be. He gropes with his hand for the knob of the door.. his
back still towards it, finds the knob, pushes the door in, and
disappears into the room.
MARIANNE:
Jesse!
She runs to the door to her room, tries it. No answer.
Well you couldn't expect that this would happen to me and that I
shouldn't tell you. Jesse!
(There is no answer.)
J esse!
(No answer.)
What are you doing, Jesse? Why don't you say something to me? And
I didn't mean the last things I said. I was just trying to hurt you,
because I'm hurt and all you had to say to me was that I should
keep the hurt all for myself and not make you share any part of it,
as if that were possible. J esse!
(Peremptorily, stamping her foot.)
You
come right out of there, right now and talk to me. You can't run
away from this, just turn your back on it. But I know you, Jesse, I
know you won't do that, I know you'll come out after a while and
say something to me. What that will be, I can't imagine! It's frighten–
ing! J esse, you're frightening me! I'm really more frightened now
than I was before, Jesse, please!
She sits ,down, covers her face and begins to cry, then lifts
her head.
Jesse, didn't you hear me? I was crying. Don't you care? Are you
